Vous êtes très frais

tomorrow's the field trip to see tkam, and then we get to go out to lunch in town centre, which should be really awesome and fun.

today's grandpa's birthday...I think he'd be about 75...

...I wish ex bf and gfs could be friends...

I was pretty fine with it, and continued, despite the advice of therapist and mother, but it it makes him uncomfortable, and unable to move on, I'll stop, stop the talking and joking and laughing, if it will help him...
I'm not to terribly devastated, just a bit sad and maybe a bit rueful.

I wish things were the way they were when everything started out...the happiness...the love...everything...

I wish I wasn't depressed.

mmm yes it is my belief that Thursday is an aquired taste

[.::Cross Out The Eyes::.]
(Thursday)

Cross Out The Eyes Lyrics

Let's call this the quiet city:
Where screams are felt as a wave of stoplights
Drive through the streets as gunshots punctuate the night
The sides we take divide us from our faith
And the morning dove gets caught in the telephone wire

Asleep you set the fire in your own house
And the night was a knife that cut
And I'm paralyzed

Cross out the eyes
Blur all the lines
Tearing this canvas from the wall
We crossed out the eyes
Put lines through these cries
We pulled all the leaves from the trees that fall

A silent dance that we did into this hospital bed
Hear voices from another room
"It happens all the time"
But July in the sand
Then the leaves that fall
And counting down our days to live....
Drain the blood from this valentine.

"We can rise on the wings of the dove
See blue skies getting caught in the trail of all this smoke
We can rise like candles in the dark-yours always"
and an envelope marked with your new address

It was the first time face to face
I'm crossing the line
Talking to the other side of death
Hearing the words that choke memories into flatlines
I'm calling your name hoping for something to wash these dreams of you away
(can't we die!)

(memories in flatlines!)

Cross out the eyes with a set of these lines
Cross out the eyes with a set of these lines!

Fence was blown down in a winterstorm in this field
(cross out the eyes!)
Shut it down on this world into the sound
(I'll trace her!)
What can we do put a stop to the coming white days
(I loved her!)
I'm hoping for something to wash these dreams of you away

(Shut the door on this world, Shut the door on this world)
================================================

so much for doing something on saturday or sunday this weekend with friends. went to the mall friday and bought a new bracelet and ring, the bracelet with rainbow plastic ball beads and the ring a pink fuzzy thing to match my earrings.

I made 3 new necklaces and 2 new pairs of earrings and my hand hurts from bending so much wire.

other than that

my weedend was uneventful and sucky

woot

I feel sick to my stomach. there's no one out there I can talk to it feels like. it's just some deep dark little secret that I can't let anybody know. sure he knows it, but I don't know if he feels the same, or if he even wants to talk with me about it. that movie just...gar...

I wonder if I'll ever eat sour gummy worms again.

I hate being so young and stupid and not knowing what I'm doing and being confused and hurt and regreting stuff.

and the 3 people I actually ever really talk to aren't on. wth.
why did i.




why

they put me on prozac today but I don't wanna start taking it till friday.
o_O

ahem. happy first birthday to my blog. it's been an interesting year.

o
ll
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that is the cake. make fun of it and you die.

now for the first lyrics of the new year

[.::Miss You::.]
(Blink 182)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you I miss you)
(I miss you I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

interesting day it's been. registered for classes at the hs, the lady looked like a high school senior herself, it was weird.
off to the doctor for that second opinion, and to hopefully get my ears looked over, and then maybe my toe and cold.
more later perhaps.

# posted by Alyssa : 2:32 PM  0 comments

l-:< ]-: D-:

grrr it won't let me see the previous posts.

1st b-day of this thing tomorrow

grrr

gah
what a fucking stupid night I had. so ironic and sucky and I just wanna stay home and not do anything. I'm diseaesed with a cold and sneezing and a runny nose and sore throat and I sound like a teenaged-boy frog and yea.

FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK FOOK

I feel so incredibly stupid for going last night. I should have just stayed home.
but hey it was cool that laura was looking for me. I felt loved sorta.

gah.
74yruyhguviejvghedjoi0ogbirtnlnwjrfwi!

whee! tomorrow is the last day of school before valentine's day! I'm gonna hand out hello kitty valentines to all the cool people and stuff....and get valentine's....and make fun of people for getting val o grams(not really but yea)

I might go to the dance

or maybe that one place?

hmm

now I know I've got to run away
I've got to
get away

la la laaa
I <3 this song

my therapist keeps pushing meds but we're gonna get a second opinion...I'll prolly end up going on them maybe (depression meds)

I dropped out of agyg cos it just seemed really dumb and I didn't wanna be in it. sad thing is like half the people from ------- dropped out including me so it's just people from -------

hmm

Polly is not dead yet but I think I'll let them stay around a bit longer just so I can figure stuff out. be aware that they prolly will end up dying.

gaaah my throat hurts it's scratchy and I've been coughing and stuff. I hope to god brian k. didn't give me strep ]=
btw he got voted into 9th grade royality cos sonny had to drop out cos he has soccer fri night.
that was sooo mean and cruel and horrible of people to vote for him ]=
I bet t dizzle got like 7th place ]=

people can be so cruel.

last night was sooo fun. I met a ton of new people (andrew-pam-gavin-ryan-a lot more) and had a blast.

>.<
k so wow.
why the heck.
Polly must dieee.

might go to that one place tomorrow night with Laura, Kristen, Joe, Andrew, John, andwhoeverelsewillbethere

so that should be fun...I wonder if I'll get a chance to see Charlie Brown?

Nate's fishnet/white sleevless shirt combo today was hot no matter what Amy says!
oh and 9.0 op. is hot

-_-